Timshel

Project 366: Week 5

2012-02-09T13:15:00.001Z

Still managing to take a picture every day..

030. Just some paper cases.

031. Snack time.

032. Finn.

033. Sharp.

034. Neko

035. Shadow. i realise this is awful; i totally forgot about taking a photo til silly o'clock.

036. Broken

Of Spatulas & Spices

2012-02-04T12:59:00.001Z

i've started a new little food blog (tumblr) over at Of Spatulas & Spices in a vain attempt at keeping track of all the recipes i've been trying and testing of late.
If you have a tumblr account of your own, please do hit the follow button and lend me some encouragement. Appreciated!

i'm hoping this might encourage me to get in the kitchen more often and to eat a better variety of food ...but i do have a bit of a track record for consigning blogs to the rubbish pile, so we'll see how it goes.

Project 366: Week 4

2012-01-30T21:06:00.000Z

23. Silhoutte - aka, "Crumbs, photo, what inanimate object happens to be nearby?"

24. My old puppy.

25. Burning bright.

26. Burns Supper (a day late)

27. New haircut!

28. Aged.

29. Light reading.

Project 366: Week 3

2012-01-23T23:59:00.000Z

16. Playing with light.

17. Just flowers.

18. Ford Capri.

19. Tanzanian treasures.

20. Worship.

21. Lights will guide you home.

22. Aurora Borealis.

Project 366: Week 2

2012-01-16T00:19:00.001Z

Second batch of images:

9. A cup of tea in Wetherspoons.

10. Of hope and love.

11. Freshly made pan au chocolat (granted, they were rolled out of a tin)

12. Relaxing at the end of a day.

13. Another sunset.

14. My pesky cats have a habit of congregating on my bed. (Taken with my Nokia phone)

15. And some flowers. Obviously.

Project 366: Week 1

2012-01-08T23:43:00.000Z

The first week's worth of images for my attempt at 'Project 366'::

1. A clean slate for 2012.

2. Joel's rather fabulous new mug, with the last of the year's Christmas tree bokeh!

3. Wingardium Leviosa! (My new bookshelves are pretty magical.)

4. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!"

5. Chloe & Nikita on a wee trip to Glasgow town.

6. An African sunset. (i wish.)

7. A spot of post-Christmas purchasing.

8. Sunset: the end of the week.

To Do In 2012

2012-01-04T23:15:00.003Z

i wrote the other day about my attempts at a to-do list for 2011 and it's various degrees of success, so it's surely about time that i shared my list for 2012!

Find employment in Youth or Children's Work.
My ultimate dream for 2012 is that, by the end of the year, i'll be working in some sort of youth or children's work position - preferably for a church and not too far away from home. There are a few plans in the pipeline and i firmly believe that it will happen, one way or another, but i'm learning the hard way that these things don't happen in our own time. Whether 2012 will be the year remains to be seen!
Pass my driving theory test. Pass my practical driving test.
i'm ready to sit my theory if i would only get around to booking it. And i'm nearly ready to sit my practical test. The only real hurdle that remains to be got over is my own confidence - i'm far too scared by the thought of driving without someone else for back-up, so haven't even considered booking either test. i hope to rectify the confidence situation and have sat and passed these tests by the end of the year.
Give blood for the first time.
Every time i see the blood bank coming into town, i nag myself to go along. And every time, i chicken out. i hate having blood taken. Ever since i went to the hospital and the nurse let my blood leak all over the pillow, i've been terrified by the very thought. But i know how vitally important blood donation is so will conquer my fear this year!
Read at least 36 books.
Pretty self explanatory.
Read the Bible in a year.
Separate to the other 36 books, i aim to read through the whole Bible again throughout the course of the year.
Visit Sam in London.
Samantha moved to William Booth College in September and i haven't managed to visit her yet. i intend on visiting at least once in 2012, preferably in the earlier half of the year.
Swim at least 24 times and improve my endurance/stamina.
At the moment, i probably only swim between 2 and 4 times a year. i swim a mile in an hour on these occassions (which is fine, if a little embarrassing when considering we used to do that twice over before a day of school), so my hope is that if i motivate myself to swim a minimum of twice a month i should be able to up the ante on this level.
Lose a stone in weight.
As a by-product of said swim and by being a little stricter with my food intake, i hope to lose a stone by the end of the year. (i could afford to lose almost 3, but aiming for 1 seems more sensible considering my own history.)
See a band/artist in concert that i haven't seen before.
Again, pretty self-explanatory.
Find 20 geocaches.
i've always fancied getting involved with the geocache hunt, but only got round to finding my first at the very end of last year. It's something quirky and different and it'll make me get out and about with some fresh air and my camera. i don't know how realistic a goal it is, but my target is to find 20.
Complete a Project 366 - taking a photo a day for the year.
i did this in 2009, but found the whole project to be a bit of a burden and wound up taking a lot of half-hearted webcam shots. This time round, i hope to do it with a little more enthusiasm and elegance. There are a group of us getting together to encourage and motivate each other, so i'm starting out far more excitedly in this case!

So there. Those are my hopes and aims.
But now we look forward to seeing what the year actually brings..

2011: The Book List

2012-01-01T22:59:00.001Z

As i mentioned in my previous post, 2011 saw me completing a total of 38 books (39, if you include the Bible). Purely for my own posterity, the list went as follows:

January
1. 'To the Lighthouse' by Virginia Woolf
2. 'Voluntary Madness: My Year Lost and Found In the Loony Bin' by Norah Vincent
3. 'The Centre of Winter' by Marya Hornbacher
4. 'Father Fiction' by Donald Miller
5. 'Postmodern Children's Ministry' by Ivy Beckwith
6. 'Children and the Gospel' by Ron Buckland
7. 'Children Finding Faith' by Francis Bridger
February
8. 'Cloud Atlas' by David Mitchell
9. 'The Church Invisible' by Nick Page
10. 'The Woman In White' by Wilkie Collins
11. 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy
March
12. 'Far From the Madding Crowd' by Thomas Hardy
13. 'How Hard Can It Be?' by Jeremy Clarkson
April
14. 'A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian' by Marina Lewycka
15. 'Pretty Dead' by Francesca Lia Block
May
16. 'White Teeth' by Zadie Smith
17. 'Veronika Decides to Die' by Paulo Coelho
18. 'Never Let Me Go' by Kazuo Ishiguro
June
19. 'The Frenzy' by Francesca Lia Block
20. 'The Journals of Sylvia Plath' by Sylvia Plath
21. 'Have a Little Faith' by Mitch Albom
July
22. 'Salmon Fishing in the Yemen' by Paul Torday
August
23. 'On the Road' by Jack Kerouac
24. 'Sorting Out Billy' by Jo Brand
25. 'High Fidelity' by Nick Hornby
26. 'The Scarlet Letter' by Nathaniel Hawthorne
27. 'Pygmy' by Chuck Palahniuk
28. 'The Gum Thief' by Douglas Coupland
29. 'A Million Miles In A Thousand Years' by Donald Miller
September
30. 'Lolita' by Vladimir Nabokov
31. 'Orlando' by Virginia Woolf
32. 'Sectioned: A Life Interrupted' by John O'Donoghue
33. 'For Esme - With Love and Squalor, and Other Stories' by J. D. Salinger
October
34. 'Emma' by Jane Austen
35. 'The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint' by Brady Udall
November
36. 'The Pilgrim's Progress' by John Bunyan
December
37. 'A Clockwork Orange' by Anthony Burgess
38. 'The Mitfords: Letters Between Six Sisters' edited by Charlotte Moseley

Of them all, the ones i enjoyed most were probably:

Fiction:
'The Centre of Winter' by Marya Hornbacher
'The Woman In White' by Wilkie Collins
'Lolita' by Vladimir Nabokov
'A Clockwork Orange' by Anthony Burgess

And Non-Fiction:
'Father Fiction' by Donald Miller
'The Journals of Sylvia Plath' by Sylvia Plath
'Have a Little Faith' by Mitch Albom
'The Mitfords: Letters Between Six Sisters' edited by Charlotte Moseley

i have quite the book pile ready to be conquered in 2012. Excited!

2011: Through the Rear-View Mirror

2012-01-01T13:32:00.003Z

Every year, for the last few years, i've set myself a series of challenges to complete over those 12 months. A to-do list, more than a set of resolutions. These are a round-up of the goals i set for 2011:

Read the Bible in a year
✔ Completed this round about October, using the chronological reading plan on youversion.com.
Read at least 24 books
✔ i read 38 in 2011, which beat my target, but is not as many as the past few years. i think this was because of two things: 1) i read a lot of older books this year and took longer than normal to get my head around ye olde language; and 2) i was just really lazy and only read before bed. i'm setting my bottom line at 36 for 2012 to help keep the laziness in check!
Find a job/something worth doing
✔ This was a bit of a close call, but in November i finally got myself a job.. as a checkout operator in Asda. It's hardly world-changing stuff, but a job's a job and money is money and it'll do for now. (It was just a temporary Christmas contract, originally, but i found out last week that i'm getting kept on permanently.)
Keep a journal again
i failed miserably at this. Probably because of laziness, again. Technology has eaten my life and it upsets me that i can't get back into the habit of writing on paper again.
Learn to drive
i haven't decided whether this deserves a tick or not. i have learnt to drive, but i haven't found the courage to sit the test and make it official yet!
Get another tattoo
i just did not do this. i had lots of great plans but none of the resources (aka money) to facilitate them.
Come off medication
✔ My doctors gave me the all-clear and i'm now completely med-free for the first time in years.
Go to the theatre
✔ Saw 'The History Boys' at His Majesty's Theatre in February. Brilliant!
See some live comedy
✔ i saw an amateur showcase in the upstairs room of an Edinburgh pub while visiting Gemma in May. And then i saw Alan Carr at the AECC (because my sister had a spare ticket) in October - he wouldn't have been my first choice, but his stand-up was surprisingly good!
Capture portraits of 100 different people.
✔ When i set myself this challenge, i had no comprehension of how realistic a goal it would be. a few months in, i realised it was going to be relatively easy. These are 100 faces, without having to include any of the kids i photographed for holiday club or Junior Camp:

Other things i enjoyed this year included two Noah and the Whale gigs; summer mission with my old youth group in Prestwick; a few days in Edinburgh; two wedding dances; becoming part of the life and community of St Andrews church again; seeing Ben Howard perform live; photographing two Theatre Modo parades; becoming a baking enthusiast; my little birthday tea-party; and spending a week with some beautiful kids and a brilliant Junior Camp team.

2011 was a beautiful year full of homeliness and reflection and regeneration and growth - i feel as though it was a quiet year for a purpose and that it built me back up and readied me for whatever's about to come.
i'm totally excited to get stuck into 2012 and find out what that might be!

Christmas

2011-12-28T15:03:00.000Z

i had such a lovely Christmas with the family this year - my dad was home for the first time in 3 years & my gran actually managed to get here this time - and have spent the last few days catching up with friends and enjoying some general festive fun. It's been good!

Now i just need a month alone in my room to recover...

Carl & Gill: A Wedding Reception

2011-11-09T22:01:00.000Z

My cousin Carl got married to the beautiful Gillian over in Cyprus last month. On Saturday night they had a reception at the Northern Hotel in Aberdeen to celebrate with friends, family and fireworks!

Noah and the Whale

2011-10-29T23:30:00.001+01:00

Got to see my favourite band in the world for the third time at the Music Hall in Aberdeen on Monday night, with support from Ben Howard and DJing by Zane Lowe. It was part of Radio 1's student tour, so the crowd was full of people who didn't appear to know either artist and insisted on talking all the way through their sets - grrrr - but it meant that it was broadcasted live and available online afterwards, which is pretty cool.

Ben Howard's set was beautiful - i'm definitely a new fan - and my boys Noah and the Whale did themselves proud, as always.

Stonehaven

2011-09-19T22:30:00.015+01:00

Just some photos from a wee trip to Stonehaven on Thursday afternoon..

i really am quite fond of this beautiful country!

Willows Animal Sanctuary

2011-09-03T11:21:00.001+01:00

Last weekend, i spent my Saturday afternoon at Willows Animal Sanctuary's fundraising open day. i'd never been before and can't quite understand why because it's an absolute gem of a place!

Located between Strichen and New Pitsligo, the sanctuary is the largest of its kind in Aberdeenshire, caring for (and rehoming, where appropriate) a huge variety of animals including horses, ponies, cats, dogs, lizards, tarantulas, bunnies, goats and geese! They also run an Animal-Assisted Therapy programme for people with severe mental health difficulties which, as you can probably imagine, is a definite tick in the right box for me!

It rained all day Saturday, which was a shame, but we still had a brilliant time! Here are some photos from the day:
If you're in the area, i'd definitely recommend looking them up. My photos don't really do justice to the special-ness of the place.

They're open 11am-5pm every Saturday & Sunday from April-October and can be found at Lambhill, New Pitsligo (Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, AB43 6NY). Pay them a visit!

La Musique

2011-08-15T12:16:00.002+01:00

Top artists over the last 3 months:

..and over the last 7 days:

Inspire me. Who's on your current playlist?

Prestwick

2011-08-10T13:14:00.000+01:00

i went to Prestwick, last week, to take part in summer mission with the young people i used to work with. It was so SO good to catch up with them all and to see them flourishing and growing up!

Of Late

2011-07-31T22:37:00.001+01:00

Summer is usually known as the time when things wind down for a while and people slow down and take a break. It's proving to be the opposite for me, with things suddenly becoming more active and busy, and i'm making the most of it while it lasts!

Last week was our summer holiday club at the Salvation Army, which proved to be a good chance to strengthen our relationships with some of our kids club kids, and our youth group L.I.F.E event, which was enjoyable and better attended than i think any of us would have expected. My baby sister also turned 21 in the same week and it was our town's Scottish Week event, so there was an abundance of yummy food, some fireworks, a very cheesy concert (Parade; Wonderland; Carrie Mac) and a display from the Red Arrows!

Good stuff!

Summer Mission: Salvation Army

2011-07-17T22:37:00.000+01:00

i love that this blog has just become a stream of children's summer activities.
Next on the agenda - and i'm posting this very last-minute - are our holiday club and youth events starting tomorrow at Peterhead Salvation Army.

Seaside Rock holiday club will take place from 10am-12pm Monday-Thursday and is open to any child of primary school age. At the same time on Friday morning, we'll have Messy Church (my favourite!) which is open to absolutely anyone.

On Monday-Thursday evenings, from 7-9pm, we're having a series of events for those in secondary school or beyond, using music, games and teachings to look at our theme of 'L.I.F.E'.

All of these events are free and deliberately coincide with the town's Scottish Week event so, if you're in the area, drop by the Salvation Army at 47 Windmill Street, Peterhead, and see what's going on. We'd be excited to meet you!

Pyramid Rock

2011-07-14T12:15:00.003+01:00

It pleases me immensely to report that St Andrews' first ever holiday club, which took place last week, was a riotous success. i obviously couldn't be there, since i was at Junior Camp, but it sounds like a great amount of fun was had, by all accounts. They had 69 children - way beyond their expectations - on the first day and the number only continued to grow throughout the week, which reflects well on the enjoyment had by the kids.

i was lucky enough to be able to attend their picnic on Saturday - great fun, despite the miserable weather - and their closing worship service on Sunday, which was attended by over 30 kids and their families. It was so exciting to hear the church buzzing with so much life and enthusiasm!

A massive amount of thanks and congratulations must go to the whole volunteer team for putting so much effort into preparing for the week. God clearly chose to honour their hard work. ♥

And i, for one, am really excited by the future potential it unlocks!

Junior Camp 2011

2011-07-12T14:29:00.000+01:00

Junior Camp is well and truly over for another year and i think i've finally started to recover from a monumental week.

i've been putting off writing this blog post because i wasn't quite sure how to sum it up in words. i'm still not. All i'm going to say is that the children were beautiful, the staff team worked together wonderfully, and i think that each of us encountered God in a very special way.

The week really brought home to me just what a privilege it is to be a part of these kids' lives and to serve God by serving each of them. It's an amazing honour to be entrusted with a little glimmer of their lives.

Oh.. and i didn't spend quite as much time taking photographs this year and so got to go skiing and gorge-walking instead. EPIC!

Junior Camp

2011-07-02T23:51:00.002+01:00

Loch Morlich, a photo by rainbowpromise on Flickr.

As of tomorrow, i'm off to Junior Camp for a week as part of the Salvation Army's staff team.
We're heading up the Lagganlia Centre, near Aviemore, with around 30 kids for 5 days of games, outdoor activities, relationship-building and delving deeper into God's grace.

If last year's camp is anything to go by, it's bound to be a good week. i'm excited!!

St Andrews: Pyramid Rock

2011-07-02T13:22:00.000+01:00

Photo from the Buchan Observer.

Just a reminder that St Andrews' first ever holiday club - Pyramid Rock - kicks off with a morning service tomorrow at 11am, followed by kids club from 10am-12:30pm this Monday-Friday!

Last week, a girl from the Buchan Observer - our local newspaper - interviewed myself, Abi (the minister) & Kath (the Sunday School leader) and gave us a very kind write-up in this week's edition of the paper.

We had our final prep meeting on Wednesday night and if the kids have even half the amount of fun that we had, it'll be a fabulous week!

Pyramid Rock Holiday Club: For P1-P7 Kids

Monday 4th-Friday 8th July, 10am-12:30pm

St Andrews Parish Church, Queen Street, Peterhead

Toddlers

2011-06-29T14:26:00.000+01:00

Just some recent portraits of two toddlers - Leighton and Ayla - who feature prominently on my (rather lengthy) list of favourite kiddos!

Too cute! <3

Holiday Club: St Andrew's

2011-06-24T13:03:00.008+01:00

When i was little, St Andrew's Church - a local Church of Scotland congregation - used to run an outreach Sunday School every weekend in the hall of my primary school. i went along almost every week for the majority of my childhood.. but i'd lost contact with most of the people involved and, with the exception of a friend's baptism service, hadn't been in their church for 9 or 10 years.

A few months ago now, though, i received a phone call completely out of the blue from the Sunday School leader at the church. We had a lovely catch-up ..and then she invited me along to give them some guidance in planning their first ever children's holiday club.

A few months and many, many meetings later, the club is thoroughly planned and ready to go!

It's been an absolute joy to reconnect with some familiar faces in that church and to meet new people, their new minister and the new passion, life and enthusiasm that seems to have sprung up around the place.

i'm really disappointed that i won't be there during the holiday club week (though equally excited to be helping out at the Salvation Army's Junior Camp instead!), because there's been so much excitement and preparation that they're sure to be brilliantly blessed.

If you're in the Peterhead area, though, and looking for something to occupy your childrens' first summer holiday week, i'd definitely recommend going along! It's open to all kids of primary school age, entirely free, and running from 10am-12:30 on the 4th-8th of July in St Andrews Church on Queen Street, followed by a picnic at Aden Park on the Saturday and a prize-giving service on Sunday morning. It's going to be some serious fun!

Current/Recent Reads

2011-06-21T12:09:00.003+01:00

Current/recent reads:

'The Journals of Sylvia Plath' : Currently reading. So beautiful.
'Never Let Me Go' by Kazuo Ishiguro : Read. A strange but very easy read.
'Ulysses' by James Joyce : Currently reading. i'm having to read this bit by bit, followed by the Sparknotes explanation. i fear i may never reach the end!
'White Teeth' by Zadie Smith : Read. i really enjoyed this book and all its mixed-up cultures.
'The Frenzy' by Francesca Lia Block : Read. Not as good as some of her other work, but as enchanting as you'd expect from FLB!

Yay for bookworms ♥

Tea Party: Photobooth

2011-06-18T23:05:00.011+01:00

i've never done a 'photobooth' before, but, having been inspired by numerous blogs, i hunted down some props for my tea party and we had some photo-taking fun:

Taken by Emily:

Tea Party: Little Things

2011-06-14T22:28:00.000+01:00

i have to admit: i am an absolute sucker for the small details. i had so much fun getting things ready for my tea party!

Tea Party: Red Velvet Cupcakes

2011-06-13T22:42:00.002+01:00

After much planning, preparing, cancelling and rearranging ..i finally got to mark my birthday with a wee teaparty on Saturday night. Most of the people i invited couldn't make it to the rearranged date, which was a shame, but i had a really lovely night anyway!

i did lots of baking in preparation for the evening, including raspberry cupcakes, peanut butter cupcakes and my first (surprisingly successful!) attempts at homemade scones. My proudest achievement, however, was successfully conquering Red Velvet Cupcakes for the very first time!
i've tried numerous times in the past, following recipes from either Primrose or Hummingbird bakeries, and though they've always tasted pretty good, they've never ever been red!
i've come across lots of other people having the same difficulty and it seems largely due to the limited range of food colouring available in most supermarkets in the U.K.
This time, i followed the same recipes, but my cupcakes actually turned out red with thanks to a little treasure my mum found, by the name of Sugarflair Paste Colouring (in ruby red). It turned the mixture a brilliant red without having to use all that much - quite the contrast to the entire bottles of food colouring i was going through before. It's magical stuff!

If you too want to conquer the red velvet dilemma, the paste can be bought online or found in your local Hobbycraft.

i also made cream cheese frosting for the very first time and was delighted that it turned out so yummy. i'll definitely be making that again!

These are the finished results, though i must confess that icing is not my strong point and my little brother had to help me out!

They went down an absolute treat with the teaparty guests. Yum-yum!

Glasgow

2011-06-10T23:16:00.003+01:00

Last weekend, i spent a few days visiting the church at which i've since rejected the job. They were an awkward and uncomfortable few days. But they were worth it, purely because they gave me an excuse to spend Monday in my favourite city!
One of the first sights to greet me on leaving the train station was the Cath Kidston store that made its way to Glasgow in February. Finally!! Everything in the shop is so expensive, but my word is it pretty! ♥

Another nice addition to Gordon Street is Jodie's Jewellery Boutique. A quirky little jewellery shop, they stock some creative little treasures from the likes of Me & Zena, Cherry Bombshell, Disney Couture and Tatty Devine. There are some real gems! (i failed to take a photo, for some reason, but they're fairly easy to find.) The girl-with-skipping-rope necklace by And Mary was my personal fave!

One feature on my 'things to do' list of late has been to sample something called Bubble Tea. It's a drink that originates in Taiwan as an iced milk-based tea with balls of tapioca or jelly in the bottom which are sucked up through a large straw. i've been hearing people rave about it for ages and was keen to try it out.

So, i tracked down the 'Pearl Tea' kiosk hidden away in the Savoy Centre and gave it a shot. It was strange. Yummy, but strange, and very hard to explain! i'd recommend a visit for two reasons: firstly, because the drink is something that needs to be experienced for yourself; and secondly, because it's staffed by a charmingly cheery little man!

It's on the ground floor of the Savoy Centre on Sauchihall Street. Go see.
Those things aside, i spent the majority of the day sitting in the Counting House catching up with some friends from Prestwick over a wee Kopparberg.

Pretty much a perfect afternoon!

Possibilities

2011-06-09T20:28:00.000+01:00

After 11 months of unemployment.. i just rejected the offer of a youth work job.

That sounds completely insane and yet i'm entirely confident that i've made the right choice. There are glimmers on the horizon of potential possibilities that are filling me with excitement and hope. At the moment, though, it's all a bit uncertain and chaotic and all i can do is trust that it's in the hands of God. It's proving quite the test of faith.

But, on the plus side, it's been a nice confident boost to finally be offered a job!

Lately..

2011-05-26T21:14:00.016+01:00

The past couple of weeks have been a strange array of planning meetings, road trips, friends' birthdays, application forms, Scottish scenery, arts and crafts, gallons of coffee, and the simple pleasures of living in the countryside in spring.

i had a job interview on Tuesday and i'm really not sure how it went. i felt like i answered everything reasonably well and my presentation went to plan, but the panel were pretty straight-faced and difficult to read so i'm not at all sure where i stand. i'm not exactly hopeful, but waiting for the phone call to find out.

i'm becoming quite the champion in this waiting game!

Tea Party

2011-05-22T15:07:00.003+01:00

Tea Party by rainbowpromise

Mood-board for a wee birthday gathering i'm planning in a few weeks.

Edinburgh

2011-05-11T01:21:00.004+01:00

This weekend i spent a rather lovely few days in Edinburgh, catching up with Gemma and seeing a little more of the city than i have in the past.

On Thursday night, we went to see Noah and the Whale perform at the Liquid Rooms. Their support act were a little bit naff, but NatW lived up to all my expectations and reminded me why i call them my favourite band!

The rest of the weekend was a mismatch of museums, art galleries, comedy nights, beaches, sunshine, rain, graveyards, castles, charity shops, good food and endless cups of tea.

These are a few of the more 'hidden' (read: not entirely tourist-ridden) treasures i found along the way:

The Beach House, Portobello esplanade.

This cafe was the perfect white-washed setting for some refreshments along the beach. They give the option of sitting outside overlooking the sea - even providing blankets to shield you from the Scottish wind - but with decor as cute as their's, i'm not entirely sure why you would. They serve a selection of teas, coffees, ice-creams, light lunches and the most appetising range of cakes known to man! i sampled their Victoria sponge and it tasted even better than it looked. Nom!

The Red Door Gallery, Victoria Street

i went in search of this shop knowing that they're the only place in Scotland to stock jewellery by A Skulk of Foxes. Unfortunately they didn't have the rings i hoped they might, but the shop itself was like walking into one of my favourite magazines. They're essentially an art boutique and i had to stop myself from exclaiming out-loud again and again as i wandered round and found myself stumbling across the works of artists like Belle & Boo, Alice Melvin, Stephanie Webb, Donna Wilson and Tatty Devine, whose work i'm familiar with online.

So many pretty things to covet!

Old Town Context, Cockburn Street

Another quirky gift shop, Old Town Context was crammed full of clever metal signs, retro souvenirs, slogan cards, unique art pieces and a never-ending sea of nostalgia. My particular favourites were the awesome Rob Ryan mugs.

Bibi's Bakery, Hanover Street

And last but not least, i'm back to thinking about my belly with Bibi's Bakery who specialise in brownies and a rather large range of cupcakes. It was worth the visit just to see their beautiful royal wedding themed window display ..but if you were to venture inside i'd highly recommend the red velvet or honey waffle cupcakes. Yummy!

Feeling grateful for a rather beautiful weekend ♥

Baked Goods

2011-05-04T23:23:00.003+01:00

1. Raspberry cupcakes. 2.Marmalade cake.
3. Red Velvet cupcakes. 4. Apple streudel cake.

i've become a little obsessed with this baking lark of late.
It's very therapeutic ..and it doesn't taste too bad either!

Leighton

2011-05-03T23:28:00.003+01:00

i've had the pleasure of hanging out with this wee cutie and his auntie Samantha a couple of times in the last week. Who could resist photographing these beautiful blonde curls?

New Layout

2011-05-03T17:47:00.003+01:00

i spent part of this afternoon - after lapping up the sun with a book for a few hours - reworking the layout on this blog. i was fed up of having such limited width for posting images and thought i might as well give it a bit of an overhaul while i was working that out.

i'm pretty certain i conquered the width dilemma. And i'm surprisingly pleased with the rest of the layout!

Hope it looks suitably pleasing to the eye via everyone else's screens..

Phone Photos

2011-04-28T22:33:00.002+01:00

Decided to spend the day seeing what i could produce with the camera on my mobile phone (a Nokia X6) today. The results:

(It's funny the things you uncover when your room's tidier than it's been in 6 months!)

More Faces

2011-04-27T23:59:00.002+01:00

i'm so incredibly disillusioned by my own photography of late. i want to apologise repeatedly for the quality of these images. So mundane..

Tonight's the Kind of Night

2011-04-18T23:30:00.003+01:00

i just had to share this: The latest video offering from Noah and the Whale - one of my all-time favourite bands - whose most recent album is a bit of a masterpiece.

(But don't take my word for it. Go and check it out.)

Phases of the Moon Series

2011-04-03T23:57:00.004+01:00

Phases, a photo by rainbowpromise on Flickr.

I’m currently harbouring an ever-growing fascination for the night sky. There’s something particularly awe-inspiring about staring into the darkness, at the moon and the stars, and recognising the immensity of God’s creation.

I’d been working on a project for a few days, staying up into the early hours of the morning to photograph the moon, hoping to chart its progress from full to new. Except.. I chose a terrible time of year for it and, since the clocks sprang forward, the moon doesn’t rise until 5am right now making its backdrop a far lighter colour!
And out went that little project, through the window.

That said, I happen to like the few images I managed to capture and so this, here, is my tiny incomplete little series.

Film Photos

2011-03-30T00:47:00.001+01:00

My latest film, shot on my Canon EOS 1000f, was pretty well travelled considering it consisted only of 24 exposures. It includes photos taken at home in Peterhead; on a day out to Aberdeen, to see The History Boys in the theatre; on a trip to Glasgow spent catching up with friends and learning about children's spirituality; and in Pitlochry, which i visited for the first ever time.

These are some of my favourites:

Lesley in Wagamamas, Aberdeen

Playing Connect 4 in Tinderbox, Aberdeen

A spot of baking.

Gallery of Modern Art, Glasgow

Part of the 'Blueprint for a Bogey' exhibition

Esquires, Glasgow

Parents in Pitlochry.

Cupcakes

2011-03-21T23:40:00.005Z

i like cake. Fact.

Baking cupcakes has become a bit of a habit lately. Peanut butter cupcakes with chocolate-fudge icing. Raspberry cupcakes with marshmallow toppings and jam-filled centres. Earl gray cakes with vanilla buttercream on top. Honeycomb. Sprinkles. Pastel-coloured hearts. Yum.

Nom nom nom.

100 Faces

2011-03-14T16:14:00.001Z

i'm not doing particularly well, given we're halfway through March already, but these are the second handful of images in my '100 Faces' file:

Thou Mayest

2011-02-16T15:13:00.000Z

Given that it partly influenced the title of this blog, i could hardly let the moment pass by without acknowledging Mumford & Sons' brave and beautiful performance of 'Timshel' at the last night's Brit Awards. Incredible!

Big congratuwelldones must also go out to the boys on their well-deserved win for Album of the Year.

And since the internet is being flooded with beautiful words for 'song lyrics day,' i took a moment to photograph a book i had made (for free, thanks to Snapfish's amazing customer support!) with some of my pictures and the lyrics to the aforementioned song.

Favourite. ♥

Faith Communities

2011-01-29T15:58:00.006Z

i've been doing a lot of reading (and not a lot else!) today and stumbled upon this great quote which far-more-concisely puts into words what i was trying to express back here.

Just had to share:

"Positive faith communities are places where people care for each other, where no one person is independent of the others. Communities are places where all of life is shared on some level: the good, the bad, the messy, the shameful, the startling, and the fantastic. It should be the one place where those who are wounded, whether by others or by their own inappropriate choices, can come for balm and healing. The faith community needs to be a grace-filled place where God’s love and forgiveness is modelled for all to see."

- from Ivy Beckwith's 'Postmodern Children's Ministry'

♥

New Ventures

2011-01-27T18:22:00.005Z

Tomorrow night our church is starting a new venture (or an old one, resurrected?) in the form of a kids club for primary school-aged kids. And i'm excited!!

Praying that our volunteers will be passionate, our children excited, our relationships filled with meaning and that this venture might better enable us to serve our communities - heart to God and hand to man.

(**We're also starting a drop-in for secondary school-aged young people following this, from 8-10:30pm. i'm not sure what need we're meeting there or how that's going to pan out - prayers appreciated! - but am really excited by the potential for getting out & about and getting to know some of the young people hanging around our church's local area.)

Book Reviews

2011-01-21T14:12:00.007Z

i mentioned in my previous post that i've been feeling particularly grateful for the ability to read of late. These are a few sneaky wee insights on the books i've completed so far this year.

'To the Lighthouse' by Virginia Woolf

i'm pretty sure this book is meant to be a literary masterpiece, of some description. It seems to be held in high esteem. i'm sure that the window and the lighthouse have some great, deep intrinsic meaning; that the characters are an amplified illustration of the time's social norms; and that the painting is a powerful symbol of time's passage, or some such thing. But.. honestly? i didn't get it.

Virginia Woolf is a beautiful writer - 'Mrs Dalloway' was one of my favourite reads of last year - but i did not understand this book. i just kept waiting and waiting for something to happen ..and nothing ever did.

It's probably my own fault - i'm sure i'm missing the point - and it almost feels like blasphemy to say it, but i didn't enjoy this book. Sorry!

'Voluntary Madness: My Year Lost & Found in the Loony Bin' by Norah Vincent

i don't know any other way to say it, so i'll just come out with it: i freakin' loved this book.

The basic premise is that Vincent, as an immersion journalist, admits herself voluntarily to three very different inpatient treatment centres for mental ill-health. The perspective is hugely American, with their system being a world apart from the UK's NHS provision; and, by the end of the book, her focus has shifted somewhat to her own issues with mental health; but i really enjoyed the idea and her insights into the effects our environment, background and relationships can have on our health.

Well worth a look!

'The Center of Winter' by Marya Hornbacher

Marya Hornbacher is, i would suspect, a fairly well-recognised name in the world of mental health literature thanks to her biographies 'Madness' and, in particular, 'Wasted'. This is her first (published) foray into the world of fiction.

It seems that her writing style is equally page-turning whatever she writes and this was an enjoyable and easy story to read.

'Father Fiction: Chapters for a Fatherless Generation' by Donald Miller

This book was written as though addressing others who had grown up without the presence of a dad. i'm fortunate enough not to be one of those people.

Despite that, i took quite a lot from this book. i love Donald Miller's no-nonsense attitude and his take on humanity and God. This book is definitely worth reading and gives some beautiful reflections on human relationships and a father-figure God that i appreciated, especially from a Youth Work point of view.

A simple but very worthwhile read!

According to my planner on youversion.com, i've read 9.3% of the Bible this year too, but i shan't 'review' that, except to say.. isn't the Bible funny?!

And there we have it. My utterly insignificant thoughts on this year's books.

Little Things

2011-01-18T14:21:00.004Z

Today, i am making myself pause to give thanks for the small blessings in my life.

i'm not currently feeling very well. i'm heavy and a little dark; my appetite is sporadic and extreme; i'm not sleeping at night, but can't be bothered getting out of bed during the day; my sentences are sometimes failing to make it from my mind to my lips and outwards; and i'm horribly anxious about being around people other than my brother & sister & mum & dad. But ..and this is a big BUT ...in the midst of all that? i can still read.

i can't explain how big a thing it is for me to still be able to devour books. To still have the concentration to focus on a page and read the sentences fully and understand them in the context in which they were meant? That's freakin' huge.

And i'm genuinely grateful for that.

Cheers, big G-O-D.

100 Faces

2011-01-11T12:00:00.001Z

As one of my 'things to do in 2011' list, i've set myself the challenge of photographing 100 different people throughout the course of the year, as a way of experimenting and hopefully improving on the style & quality of my photography.
These are the first handful of images..

Confession: Apparently It's Good For the Soul

2011-01-09T00:19:00.004Z

i have a confession to make:

......

i cannot remember the last time i went to church.

No excuses.

i am a sinner, named and shamed.

(But then again, aren't we all?)

See, i've found myself really struggling with the idea of church recently.

i'm finding it hard to make my experience of church - little 'c' - line up with my concept of Church - big 'C' - and the way i feel it was intended to be. The way i sometimes desperately need for it to be.

i'm probably a bit of an idealist (you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one.. lalala) when it comes to Church. i hold strongly to the fact that i was made to be a part of a Church that is the body of Christ in the world - a Church that should, therefore, strive to reflect the character that Christ showed us while he walked and talked on earth.

i have it in my mind that our Church should live and breathe the way of the church of Acts; not because the church in Acts was perfect - it's a post-fall church, so how could it be? - but because their hearts were in the right place, striving after the right things; because they were all about humility and giving, sharing in their lives and experiences and possessions; because they were a daily church, not a once-a-week church.

i want to be a part of a church that's shaped around sharing and community.

i want my experience of church to be one that's based on authenticity.

i've found myself becoming rather fond of the concept of 'Messy Church' recently - not just because it involves paint and glue and yucky, sticky crafts (though those are definitely good too!), but because it allows us to be yucky and sticky too.

i don't have the right to speak for anyone else, but i know that i, as a person, am pretty messy. i am chaotic and disorderly and i laugh inappropriately and i'm sometimes covered in tears and snot and i make comments at the wrong times and i fall into terrifying holes of depression and i ask an inordinate amount of awkward questions. i am not a perfect person. i'm not even close. i'm horribly, horrendously messy. And i think the same is probably true for the rest of humanity.

My regular expression of church, however, bears no reflection of that. My encounter with church is one that says that people are neat and tidy and orderly; that they have it all together, their lives organised into perfect, straight rows; that no one needs anyone else, that they don't need to check up on each other or express themselves; that they've got it all sorted out.

My experience of life and that experience of church just do not match up.

And i'm tired of that.

i'm yearning for a Church that allows people to take off their masks and truly be themselves - that lives as a community, accepting people with their tears and their laughter and their yucky yellow snot; where we're each so intrinsically linked as parts of the body that we feel the pleasures and the pains of the other parts.

i'm longing to be part of a Church that can pick each other up and carry on; that sees the world's beauty and practices principles of love and justice and unity. i want to be a part of a Church that throws aside the shields of politics and policy and steps outside, as a body so joined inwardly, and says, "Here we are, world - a bit of a mess - but let us try to act justly, love mercy, walk humbly and serve you however we can."

i want my life and my Church to match up.

i want my Christ and my Church to match up.

And i want to do it with the freedom to be wholly and completely 'me'.

i have a confession to make, you see:

.. i am hungry for a Church with a bit of authenticity.

Welcome, 2011

2011-01-04T16:55:00.002Z

Happy New Year!

Please observe the obligatory list of somewhat inane things i hope to do/conquer/achieve this year. Oh yes!

i'm a tad late, but just wanted to wish everyone a year full of blessings and happiness. All the best!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T15:07:00.006Z

To us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.
- Isaiah 9:6-7

Merry Christmas everyone!

Be blessed xo

Winter Favourites

2010-12-05T15:39:00.002Z

Winter Favourites by rainbowpromise

A few of my favourite things..

Prestwick

2010-12-04T13:02:00.001Z

Last weekend i had the absolute pleasure of visiting my old youth group and church down in Prestwick for the first time since i left over 5 months ago. With the exception of John, who has replaced me as the Youth Worker, no one knew that i was going to be there and it was a joy to surprise them all and be welcomed so warmly back into their midst.

It was great to catch up with the young people and to see how much they've matured and how big the Sunday School kids have grown in such a short space of time! It was exciting, too, to see how much things have changed and grown within the church. The leadership of the Sunday School has changed and so its format has become much more relaxed and (in my opinion) enjoyable than it was before and they've grown as much in number as in stature as a result. The youth group seems still to follow much the same programme but it, too, has grown in number and John - with his different set of skills and passions - is taking them that bit further in their spiritual journey than i ever could. It was a real delight and privilege to be able to witness those changes and yet still feel so welcome within the group.

i've missed them all very much and it was lovely to catch up. And the hugs, delighted squeals and box of chocolates didn't go amiss either!

Paramore

2010-11-22T20:58:00.005Z

Went to see Paramore on Saturday. They were pretty epic.
Hayley Williams has such a beautiful voice and is quite the entertainer!

(i sort of hate when SLRs are banned from venues..)

British Bands

2010-11-15T00:23:00.003Z

i tried, today, to put together a list of some (fairly recent) British music that online friends in America might not have heard quite yet. i attempted to include a variety of artists from a host of styles and backgrounds; some well known & others not-so; not all of whom i would claim to be a fan of; in order to try and present a broad spectrum of the current British music scene.

i'm not entirely convinced i've done a very respectable job..

This is the play-list i've so-far come up with:

(Adele; Bat For Lashes; Biffy Clyro; Bombay Bicycle Club; Cheryl Cole; the Cinematic Orchestra; Diana Vickers; Dizzee Rascal; Elbow; Eliza Doolittle; Ellie Goulding; Emmy the Great; Enter Shikari; Everything Everything; Florence + the Machine; Frank Turner; Frightened Rabbit; HURTS; Jack Penate; James Blunt; Jamie T; Kate Nash; Kitty the Lion; Laura Marling; Los Campesinos!; Manic Street Preachers; Marina and the Diamonds; McFly; Mumford & Sons; Muse; Noah and the Whale; One Night Only; Paloma Faith; Panda Su; Paolo Nutini; Patrick Wolf; Pearl & the Puppets; Plan B; Professor Green; Rend Collective Experiment; Slow Club; Stornoway; Take That; the Ting Tings; Tinie Tempah; Twin Atlantic; the Wanted; the XX; & You Me At Six.)

Which other British bands, artists or musicians would you have included to better represent our current music scene?

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2010-11-14T14:36:00.002Z

Brrr...

Fire & Flame

2010-11-09T09:58:00.004Z

i reckon Bonfire Night might be one of my favourite nights of the year, despite the fact i'm afraid of fire & still paranoid about falling fireworks!

There's something very enjoyable about crowding round a bonfire with a group of strangers, or Ooohing & Ahhhing at fireworks in unison with a few hundred people.

Life is shweet.

And on the subject of fire.. Hollyoaks, anyone?!

Youth Councils

2010-11-05T13:43:00.002Z

Last weekend was the Salvation Army's Youth Councils event for all of Scotland. This was only the second Youth Councils i'd ever been to - the first being a smaller, divisional event - and it was a blast!

Saturday night consisted of an 'Alice In Wonderland' themed fancy-dress party. Sunday was made up of two worship sessions, with music provided by some crazy-talented young people in the form of the East Scotland youth chorus, West Scotland youth band & North Scotland worship band; beautiful art being created by Adam Howie; games; and some inspiring and encouraging speaking from both Tim and Andrea Reynolds.

It was awesome to have the opportunity to catch up with some friends i haven't seen in a while, too, as well as to hang out with my peeps from Driven and their hilarious episodes of 'extreme lying down'.

All in all a rather grand weekend!

Check out the 'official' & far-better photographs taken by Thomas here.

Ubuntu

2010-10-28T23:59:00.006+01:00

This week has been a long and heavy week.

i've lost count of the number of times my heart has broken over broken-hearted children in the past few days. i heard someone say, once, that the word 'compassion' in its original form actually described a literal tearing of the gut. My gut is in tatters this week.

This week i have been taught lessons about sadness and grief and darkness and fragility. i've learnt about life's beauty and it's value and how quickly it can be taken away. i've watched, this week, while children sit and wrestle with questions beyond their years and adults fill soaking tissues with their tears. i've learnt about heart ache and despair.

But i've also learnt, this week, about togetherness and vulnerability; about openness and sharing. About hope and love.

This week i witnessed parents comforting children that may or may not be their own. This week i saw a 10 year old boy drying the tears of a group of younger kids. This week i stood and watched while a fully grown man put his arm around the shoulder of a 9 year old girl, looked at her and said, "Y'know what? You're right. It isn't fair. It isn't fair! And it's okay to be sad."

This week taught me valuable lessons about honesty and acceptance; about the things in life that tear our boundaries apart; about darkness and light and faith and trust; about broken hearts and binding up our wounds.

Mostly this week taught me about community.

It taught me about the pain and beauty and joy and sadness of really, truly sharing together in life's journey, with all its unexpected twists and turns. It taught me how much that can hurt. It taught me about the power that it has to help and heal.

And it taught me about the wonderful privilege it is to be just one in a body of many parts.

Desmond Tutu once wrote,

“In Africa we have a word Ubuntu, which is difficult to render in Western languages. It speaks about the essence of being human: that my humanity is caught up in your humanity because we say a person is a person through other persons. I am a person because I belong. The same is true for you. The solitary person human being is a contradiction in terms. .. No one can be fully human unless he or she relates to others in a fair, peaceful, and harmonious way.”

This week? This week i think i began to experience some of that.

Autumn Colours

2010-10-19T14:25:00.001+01:00

Autumn is such a beautiful season. i'm not sure these really do it any justice.

- Taken at Aden Park with Ayla, Carol & my parentals.

Home Sweet Home

2010-10-14T12:31:00.001+01:00

Ayla

2010-09-28T15:16:00.002+01:00

Ayla, originally uploaded by rainbowpromise.

My mum's friend, Carol, has been on baby-sitting duties for her 20month old granddaughter, Ayla, this past week. She's an absolute cutie, so i've been taking advantage of the opportunity to take some photos!

Aww!

Two Years Back

2010-09-25T22:16:00.001+01:00

As a Christian, i believe firmly in the power of story. i believe that our stories show something unique about our future and our past; that they are an artwork in the hands of a creator God; that they can speak volumes about redemption and hope and love.

As a Youth Worker, i believe in the power of story as a symbol of the worth in each one of us - that listening to a young person's story is sometimes the greatest gift you can give to their lives.

As an individual, i realise that my story has often been strange - that my story is the kind that makes many people crinkle their noses and crease their brows in disgust. And i'm all right with that.

Two years ago today, my story was taking an unexpected twist and turn.

This time two years ago - after fist-fulls of pills and six hours continually throwing up; after two days on a drip and two nights in a hospital bed - i landed myself on a psychiatric ward.

It's not a part of my story which i am proud of. But it's also not something of which i'm ashamed. Looking back over the passing two years, it's funny how so little and so much has changed.

It's not a part of my story which i'd like to relive. But it's a tiny fraction of my story that speaks of redemption and hope and love and change.

And i'm grateful for that.

Torn.

2010-09-15T13:22:00.002+01:00

Current status: lost.

This job-seeking malarky is so not fun.

i had an interview the other week.. for a job i didn't really want and didn't get. i have an interview next week for a job that's technically more suitable, but over which i'm entirely torn.

'Torn' seems an appropriate word, of late. That's how it feels. i feel like i'm being tugged at and pulled in a million different ways.

i'm torn over the decision to up and move myself away from home again. Despite my adamant refusals that i would hang around Aberdeenshire for long, the truth is that i'm actually enjoying being home. i'm still not a fan of Peterhead culture; but i'm a fan of having my family and friends close at hand.

i'm scared of staying here and getting so comfortable that i don't push myself anymore; but i'm even more afraid of moving away and being faced with the discomfort of being painfully alone. Loneliness builds friendship with depression and i'm not sure my soul has the stamina to face welcoming that back in just yet. i'm torn.

i'm torn over the wages of jobs and the decision to either accept a small amount of money and trust that i can live on that with God; or to be realistic about the amount a person needs to have a life that's happy and healthy and not solely centred around work.

i'm torn by the fact that i'm enjoying being part of the Salvation Army again and that working for a church would, in reality, limit my chances to be involved anymore. It's funny, really, because i've been more active in the Church of Scotland for a longer period of time, yet i still think of the Salvation Army as my 'home'. It's a strange and curious denomination that i don't always understand, yet the more i read and learn, the more their purpose and their mission resonates in me. i like the attitude of 'Heart to God and hand to man.' i guess that's a motto that works for the church, universally, but there's something more deliberate in its outworkings within the Salvation Army. i like that. And i know it shouldn't matter - that we're all part of the same Church, at the end of the day - but i like worshipping and serving with them and being a part of that community. And, perhaps selfishly, i don't want to leave. And so i'm torn.

i'm just torn.

And lost.

And confused.

And trying not to let myself despair.

i wish God would give me some blinding flash of revelation. He hasn't. Chances are he's doing things more subtly than that.

And chances are i just need to be patient.

Perhaps i need to accept that there's no real rush.

Perhaps i need to enjoy the journey.

And share it. And talk.

i'm feeling a real, burning need to talk recently. That's unusual for me. i'm usually the quiet one, the one that does the listening - the one that people, for whatever reason, feel okay to divulge their secrets to having only just met. i like that. Hearing people's stories is one of the greatest privileges in my life.

But sometimes - just every now and then - i need to be the one to talk.

Just occasionally, i need someone to listen to my story.

The people who know it - who really, truly know it - live far away from me now. And i'm actually okay with that. There are people here and now with whom i want to share my story. More than that, there are people here who i'd like to be a part of it. But the act of sharing is just one more thing over which to be torn.

Torn.

Completely and utterly torn.

(**It's my blog & i'll whine if i want to, whine if i want to.. ha)

Praying for Discomfort

2010-09-06T11:50:00.007+01:00

"May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart.
Amen.

May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
Amen.

May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation & war,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.
Amen.

May God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
Amen.

And the Blessing of God, who Creates, Redeems and Sanctifies,
be upon you and all you love and pray for this day, and forever more.
Amen."

A traditional Franciscan blessing.

..Just because this has resonated with me, of late.

The Job Hunt

2010-08-31T18:02:00.003+01:00

i've been a bit rubbish at this blogging malarky. This was supposed to be a document of life this summer - a catalogue of thoughts and photos and events. It hasn't quite worked out like that.

Then again, summer hasn't quite worked out how i expected it either.

i had hoped for a calm and peaceful summer with time to write and photograph and regroup. What i forgot was how much my 'creativity' (if you can call it that) depended on people and just how lonely life in Peterhead can be.

It hasn't been a bad summer, really.. it's just been different to the one i expected it to be.

i was fed up and applying for jobs within about ten days of being back home.

Doing so has raised all sorts of questions i hadn't quite anticipated.. How far from my friends & family is it wise to move, given the ups & downs - particularly health-wise - of the last few years? Could i work with young people of primary school age instead of secondary? To what extent does it matter whether or not i work with a church or agency with a specifically Christian agenda?

i have a lot of questions and significantly fewer answers.

And i'm not at all sure how to begin to work these things out.

In the meantime, though, i have a presentation to prepare for an interview tomorrow and an application i should probably finish filling in...

Ah, procrastination!

Cheryl & Alan

2010-08-13T23:48:00.012+01:00

Just some photos from my aunt's wedding dance on Saturday..

Explorations & Photography

2010-08-07T17:45:00.002+01:00

Sam and i decided to make the most of the good weather and head out for a walk to Ravenscraig Castle the other day. The castle is hidden away behind some trees in the middle of nowhere and requires a walk across some fields and a climb over a barbed wire fence or two, but is relatively simple to locate.

This time, however, Sam and i managed to get lost. In the middle of an open field!

And then we somehow stumbled out upon this incredibly beautiful place.. and stood there going, "Wow!"

Turned out we were just below the castle we'd been looking for in the first place, so we got the best of both worlds anyway!

Team Tanzania: An Update

2010-08-02T18:15:00.001+01:00

It feels odd knowing that Team Tanzania are in the midst of their adventure at the moment, while i'm sitting in Peterhead writing this. It's reminded me of many amazing experiences and some beautiful children who i dearly miss.

The updates from the team have been pretty sparse this year, because there are so few of them and they've been so busy!

It sounds, though, like all is going well. The team are in good health and, as the pictures illustrate, getting thoroughly stuck in to their work. From the few emails we've received, it seems that they've been spending most of their time playing with and pampering the children at the school, as well as doing some maintenance work and painting, and visiting Mbagala Girls Home to hand over a cheque. They've also had some time to relax and enjoy the beauty of Tanzania, spending the usual few nights at Sunrise Beach Resort and - a first for the whole group - having the chance to go on safari!

It sounds like both the team and the children of Matumaini are being greatly blessed by their time there.

They have about six days left in Tanzania with their return to Aberdeen scheduled for this time next week. Please continue to uphold them in your prayers. It's much appreciated.

This Charming Life: An Audio/Visual Diary

2010-07-27T20:31:00.004+01:00

For my birthday last year, my uncle very kindly gave me a video camera. i (not quite so kindly) have never gotten round to using it until this week.

This, therefore, is my first foray into the world of video recording - a very simple 'journal', of sorts, of the sights i've seen this week.

Enjoy.

(*Some of it has gone black or stuck in the process of uploading from camera to computer to Facebook. Please excuse me!)

Team Tanzania

2010-07-17T20:02:00.002+01:00

Tomorrow afternoon a group of 7 people from Peterhead will set off for Dar es Salaam in Tanzania. They're heading out to the Matumaini compound, run by the Salvation Army, to work with the disabled children that attend their 'School of Hope'.

This is the third trip of its kind, but the first of which i haven't been a part. i'm really sorry to be missing out this time around and sad not to be seeing those beautiful children again; but i'm also genuinely excited for the group and delighted that my little brother will be there again.

Experience has taught me that Tanzania transforms people and keeps hold of a little bit of your heart. i'm sure that the same will be true for the team this year.

If you're the praying kind, i'd ask you to keep the team in your prayers during their stay, from July 18th-August 8th. If you're not, then perhaps you could keep them in your thoughts.

Their own prayer list sums most of it up & so i'll leave you with this:

Pray:

for final preparations before leaving
for preparations at the Matumaini School compound
for individual team members (Andrew, Brian, Susanna, Kayleigh, Rebecca, James & Joel)
for the health of the team
for safety and protection
for emotional, physical and spiritual strength
for team unity throughout the trip
for preparations for the return
that God will use the team to maximum effect to impact and bless the community at Matumaini
for the generous friends of Team Tanzania
that God will be glorified.

Amen.

Junior Camp

2010-07-12T11:11:00.005+01:00

This past week (after moving out of my flat & away from Prestwick!) was spent working as part of the staff team at North Scotland Salvation Army's Junior Camp at Feshiebridge, near Aviemore.

In all honesty, i was dreading the week. i don't often do well with new people and was very conscious of the fact that, among a team who had already met and worked together, i was only familiar with two people. i was the odd one out - i wouldn't fit in & i'd spend the week feeling awkward & avoiding everyone.

But i convinced myself it was only for a week and that, as uncomfortable as it would be, i would survive. i would grit my teeth and bear it.

And so we set off.

And the reality of the week, on so many levels, was a world apart from that which i'd imagined.

The staff team consisted of a group of hard-working, talented and wonderfully accepting people who welcomed me into their group and made me feel right at home. The children we worked with were all that and so much more. They were 23 beautiful, comical, thoughtful, hurting but fun-loving children who behaved themselves almost perfectfully and engaged with everything thrown at them. And i had the privilege of photographing them all! They were a joy and a delight to be around and i was greatly blessed by being with them this week.

The week challenged me and taught me a lot too.

It taught me things about God. It taught me lessons about other people. And it taught me things about myself, as well.

This week taught me that i can be a part of a new group of people, without necessarily being disliked or thought of as a pest. It taught me that, by suspecting otherwise, i not only underestimate myself but other people.

This week taught me that i am actually capable of working with children; that i can form relationships with young people in general, not just with those i've worked with for four years, and that something meaningful might be borne of that.

This week taught me that photography is a more useful youth work tool than i sometimes acknowledge: that something about a camera breaks down barriers between people; and that sometimes a photo can show a young person their worth through someone else's eyes.

This week taught me - or reminded me, at least - not to take things at face value. It reminded me that other people's judgements are not always correct and that i have the right (and the responsibility) to make up my own mind about someone. It reminded me of how little we sometimes know about each other - of just how much dwells beneath the surface; of how much each person is capable of; and of how much one tiny individual can be coping with in their lives.

This week reminded me, too, about the awesomeness of God. i am often blown away by the beauty of the world and the fact that, among such an immense creation, God is still concerned with every intricacy of our little lives. This week was a humbling reminder of that.

Mostly, though, this week taught and reminded me about relationships and love. This week was a reminder of just how important it is for people to feel valued and wanted and cared about and loved - how, whether adult or child, we all want to feel like we belong - and how, as followers of a Christ who lived and breathed that, we can try to provide some small glimpse and experience of that.

The lessons were bigger than that. Sometimes i'm not very good at putting things into words. There was something deeper to the experience than my writing seems to say. But take it as given that the week taught me a lot.

It was a great week. A beautiful, touching, emotional one. And, as trite as it may sound, it really was a privilige and a blessing to be involved.

Graduation

2010-07-04T10:43:00.000+01:00

Graduation yesterday was a truly beautiful, blessing-filled day.

i was anxious & not looking forward to graduating in person at all, but i'm glad i did. It was a great day and the perfect way to mark and celebrate endings and beginnings with the people who have helped along the way.

The service was beautiful; we had a lovely meal at the Taj at night; and i didn't even trip walking onto the stage!

All in all a wonderful day.

i am truly blessed.

And it is done!

Fond Farewells

2010-07-03T09:36:00.001+01:00

This week has been a strange and emotional week that i've been dreading for some time.

Of all the doors that have closed - of all the goodbyes i've had to say - this week's were bound to be the hardest.

On Wednesday, i had to say 'see ya later' to my beautiful youth group.

It's an odd and cliche thing to say, but these young people have been my entire life for the past four years. i believe wholeheartedly in the power of relationships in Youth Work. i don't believe that a relationship of any real meaning or depth can be confined to the walls of a church. As a major introvert, none of it comes naturally to me and so, when i choose to invest in a relationship, i invest myself in it completely - sometimes to the detriment of my own life or health.

i'm not sure if that's a positive or negative - it simply is what it is.

These young people have come to mean the whole entire world to me. Saying 'goodbye' was never going to be easy.

Except.. Wednesday came and went and it was easier than i ever thought it could be.

It was emotional, don't get me wrong. But it was easier than i thought it would be.

Some of the girls brought me a box, on Wednesday, over-flowing with pieces of paper, on which are written phrases like "Oops, we ate the prank!" or, "There's an epic fail in my bed!" It was nice, on looking through all that they'd amassed, to reflect together on the things that we've done - not just the silly quotes and funny memories (although they're wonderful too!), but on the journey we've been on in the last four years; the conversations we've had, the moments we've shared and the ways in which each of us has grown.

It's so strange, looking back, to imagine that the beautiful, talented young women starting 5th year now could be the same people as the tiny, shy 1st year girls that walked into our first ever youth group. It's a weird and wonderful journey we've all been on. It hasn't always been easy for any of us. But, four years later, we've made it to a point where these shy little girls have morphed themselves into passionate, talented young women full of enthusiasm and ideas that will buoy the youth group through all that's about to come. And, four years later, they've morphed me into something different aswell.

Through reflection, saying goodbye wasn't quite so hard. The timing is right. It's time to move on.

It was an interesting night, Wednesday - not only were we saying goodbye, but the church was interviewing a new Youth Worker too. i think that helped. The reassurance that things are progressing - that the church are still focussed on these young people - makes it easier to let go.

It was emotional on Wednesday ..but there was also a sense of still. Of peace. Of being the right time to let go.

i will miss these young people dearly. We keep saying that it's not 'goodbye', it's 'see ya later'. That's true.. but i don't know when i will see them again. We'll keep in touch, through the medium that is Facebook and what not, but for now we're in that interesting place where our relationships try to adjust and take on a new and natural shape. It'll take a while to get used to.

It's been a great journey, though. It's been emotional and beautiful and rewarding and the greatest of fun. But it's time to let go.

Our farewells have definitely been fond.

Thou Mayest

2010-06-28T13:45:00.001+01:00

About two months ago now, i sat in this flat with my mum and said, "i think i'm going to get a tattoo."

i was struggling at the time - that animal called depression having stuck its claws beneath my skin yet again - and i knew that, with the end of a college year (and, indeed, course) rapidly approaching, things were about to get a whole lot more difficult.

i had classes to attend, an exam to sit, 7500 words of essays to write, placements to pass, a back-log of reflections to complete and a brain that, quite literally, couldn't focus for longer than five words. My world was heavy and dark and i couldn't see any possible way to make it through.

i needed some encouragement and decided, as motivation and reminder, that i would get a tattoo - the word 'timshel' in Hebrew letters on the inside of my left wrist.

Reflecting on the Biblical story of Cain & Abel in his beautiful 'East of Eden', John Steinbeck writes in reference to the word 'timshel':

"Why is this word so important?"

"Don't you see?" he cried. "The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin, and you can call sin ignorance. The King James translation makes a promise in "Thou shalt," meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel - 'Thou mayest' - that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if 'Thou mayest' - it is also true that 'Thou mayest not.' Don't you see?"

"Yes, I see. I do see. But you do not believe this is divine law. Why do you feel its importance?"

"'Thou mayest!' Why, that makes a man great, that gives him stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his murder of his brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course and fight it through and win!"

"I feel that a man is a very important thing - maybe more important than a star. This is not theology. I have no bent toward gods. But I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed - because 'Thou mayest.'"

(Steinbeck, paraphrased from 'East of Eden' pages 305-306)

"It is always attacked and never destroyed - because 'Thou mayest.'"

Thou mayest. Timshel. It seemed like the perfect choice for a tattoo.

And so i got my ink, i put my head down, i cried a lot of tears and i carried on.

And now, two months further on, i sit here in the knowledge that it is done.

For the time-being, the depression is once again gone. My classes are finished; my placements are ticked and complete; i passed every one of this semester's essays and exams with 90%; and this Saturday i will finally graduate from ICC with my degree.

The road to this point has been long and winding. It's been hard. i sit here now feeling relief that it's all over. And i know that, for a while, it's time to stop.

i'm looking forward to the journey that's about to begin. i have no idea where i'm going and, for now, that excites me. i'm enjoying living in the uncertainty that's entirely in the hands of God.

For now, i'm excited at the chance to take a break. i'm excited at the prospect of a summer free from essays or work, spent catching up with the people and the things that i love - taking hundreds of photos and writing four years worth of neglected words.

i'm saddened at the closing of these doors, but i'm excited for a new thing to begin.

i'm sure it'll be another curious summer, travelling along another weaving (but perhaps less bumpy) road. i wanted some way to document it - to gather all the photographs and words and to track the next steps God takes me on - and settled on yet another blog.

If you can bear to read my ramblings, hit the follow button; subscribe to the feed; add me to your 'roll'; or do whatever it is that you do. i'd love to travel along this 'road' with you.

Let's see where this thing goes.

With relief & anticipation,

- Laura